One codependent friend in recovery shared this story with me: I was taught that Jews didn’t drink or drug. We were married young. I just always assumed that my husband started drinking because I was a terrible wife. The suffering, the hurt and the anger that company codependence can consume you.
Don’t let it. Don’t be angry at yourself, at your daughter, at her compulsive eating. Don’t be hurt by your father’s gambling. Hurt and anger will not pave the road to recovery and healthy, loving relationships.
Instead, turn all that negative energy into spiritual strength and be renewed.
The time has come to move out of this paralysis, this codependence, to regain your true self. The road will be difficult, but you can see where it is that you have to travel.
I won’t kid you. The Israelites in their desert journey despaired. Every time you think that they finally “got it,” that they were ready to give up on slavery and embrace freedom, leaving their old ways behind them, they soon were ready to run back to Egyptian servitude. They had forgotten how far they had come, the vast wilderness they had traversed. They were ready to give it all up.
You may feel the same way.
Like the journey in the desert, the steps in recovery may be small and the first one probably will be the hardest. But once you have gotten started, you are well on your way.